So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
