He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
