i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
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