guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Randomize
