i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
