i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
