I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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