We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
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