I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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