God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize