The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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