Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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