Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
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