my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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