I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
