tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
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You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
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It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
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