Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I love you.
Bad choice
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
