I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Let's paint friendship bongs
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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