God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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