I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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