my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
