p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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