I'm laying in your front yard are you home
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
