I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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