shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
