OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
