Pappa wants mamma naked
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
