I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
