btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
