I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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