Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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