M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
