No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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