i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
