do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
