guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
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