I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Randomize