I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
