No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
