I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I just blew my weed a kiss
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
