The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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