Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Drake has all the answers
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
