she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
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Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
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my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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