so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Randomize
