No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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