I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize
