I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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