i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
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