@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
