I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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