Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
