so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
