dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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