oh god the rape fog is back!
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Why is there bacon in the couch?
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
