sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Randomize
