i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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