I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Randomize
