There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
