from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
