Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
