And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
i think my mom watched the whole time
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Randomize
