I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
