I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
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